Solve conflicts, choose the right words, and find compromises: Here you’ll get tips on how to deal with private and professional disputes the right way.
Conflicts arise in families, relationships, friendships, and among colleagues, but also among complete strangers. You don’t have to let the latter get you into a conflict – especially if you never see each other again.
But if you meet people regularly, you should not ignore tensions and conflicts. Problems can’t be sat out, but often simmer subliminally until the big bang occurs. However, you can almost always resolve conflicts with a calm conversation and find compromises.
Conflicts also have something positive: they help us to develop further, to reflect on our behavior, to recognize limits and needs, and to grow personally.
THE INDIVIDUAL STEPS
The first step is to recognize the conflict as such. One sign may be that you and your counterpart can no longer speak openly with each other. You can’t find compromises and everyone insists on his or her opinion. Perhaps you are deliberately avoiding each other or arguing over trivial matters.
- Question your emotions. Why do you feel anger, guilt of disappointment? Is it related to painful experiences in the past or do you simply feel dissatisfied at the moment? If you want to resolve a conflict, you should accept your feelings and question your position.
- Both sides are not always equally tense or frustrated. Either way, you should seek the conversation in private. That way, you can clear up misunderstandings and find common ground. It is important to give the other person time to prepare for the meeting. Avoid blindsiding someone with accusations or assumptions. If the other person feels backed into a corner, it quickly escalates.
- In conversation, it is important to send out “I” messages. For example, you can say, “I feel like you’re avoiding me.” or “I think we both have a different opinion.” Give your counterpart the opportunity to take a stand on this. Don’t cut him or her off and avoid provocative gestures like rolling your eyes or shaking your head.
- Then you can describe your point of view. Take deep breaths, choose your words carefully, and speak slowly. Avoid stringing accusations together or dredging up past problems. It’s all about the here and now – otherwise you run the risk of going around in circles forever without taking a step toward each other.
Once you have both talked it out, you should find a mutual solution and can go back to enjoying NationalCasino online. Honor shared perspectives and apologize sincerely if you have wronged your counterpart. Now work together to find a good compromise. Even if you don’t agree, but respect the different points of view, this can defuse the conflict.
RESOLVING CONFLICTS WITH FAMILY; FRIENDS; PARTNER
Conflicts between family members and friends in particular can become very emotional. We tend to take our dissatisfaction out on others more quickly, overestimate situations, or open up old wounds. Hurt feelings, unmet expectations, or misunderstandings can quickly catapult us into conflict.
Perhaps a fight quickly erupts in the family because you believe your family doesn’t take your goals seriously and support them. Here’s how you can resolve the conflict:
Reflect on your feelings. The question is whether you are letting emotions run high in your thoughts. Does a casual comment cause you to crank up your head and rewind old memories? Are your feelings just an appropriate response to what is being said? In any case, if certain comments make you feel uncomfortable, you should seek conversation.
Is an argument developing? Instead of going straight into attack mode, take a deep breath and remove yourself from the situation. If you’re angry, going for a walk or playing sports can help. This will allow the emotions to cool down again.
Don’t seek out conversation until you have your emotions under control. Make sure that only the people involved are present. Anyone additional could unnecessarily complicate the situation with their opinion.
- Again, it is important to send out “I” messages. For example, you can say:
- “I feel like you don’t take me seriously and don’t want to support me.”
- “It makes me sad when I get the feeling that you are mocking my goals.”
- “I wish you could stand behind me more.”.
Give the other person a chance to share his or her perspective. However, he or she should not feel like he or she has to justify himself or herself to you. If you can’t remain objective and calm, you can ask an outsider to lead the conversation.
Work together to find a solution. For example, you can agree to specifically ask for support and advice when you need it. This will take the pressure off your family to act on unspoken expectations. If you can’t come to a common denominator and you think that the talks are draining too much energy from you, support from a neutral person can also be helpful.